At the Intergovernmental Panel On Climate Change (IPCC) meeting in Paris, in December, IPCC members are hoping that they can get all countries to agree to a pact to be in effect by 2020 to hit the United Nations goal of limiting global warming to 2 °C (3.6 °F) over pre-Industrial Revolution levels.

IPCC meetings are very popular. Participants are sent there by their governments on luxury flights with full expenses – lovely holiday which can be granted to people who absolutely have no knowledge whatsoever about the climate or physics. At the last meeting, in Peru, 84 South African delegates attended. Among the 84 were an intern from the University of Cape Town and a woman who has no recorded affiliation to any department. There was an office administrator from the Department of Environmental Affairs and the ‘registry clerk’ from the Department of Environmental Affairs. All, I can assure you, nonscientists. It is this sort of beano which makes it worth an individual supporting the belief that climate change is a real possibility. You get a free holiday. Paris will be a bigger hit than Lima.

But there is an item of catastrophic disaster which will affect the IPCC and the world as we know it. You ready? For 222 months, since December 1996, temperature measurements indicate that there has been no global warming at all. And this is acknowledged by the IPCC. They call this ‘a pause’, and now we have a new record length for the pause: 18 years, six months.

Worse, the IPCC’s centrally predicted warming rate since 1990 is now more than two-and-a-half times the measured rate. The predictions on which the entire climate scare was based were extreme exaggerations.

The IPCC says that an increase will reoccur and the IPCC sticks to its 4.8 °C by 2100. This is four times the observed real-world warming trend, since the world might, in theory, have begun influencing it in 1950.

The seas? The oceans, according to the 3 600plus ARGO bathythermograph buoys, are warming at a rate of just 0.02 °C each decade, equivalent to 0.23 °C a century. The ARGO network consists of over 3 000 small, drifting oceanic robot probes, floating around all the world’s oceans. ARGO floats duck-dive down to 1 000 m or deeper, record temperatures and then come up and radio the results.

The ocean data the climate changers are relying on to establish their warming trends is all pre-ARGO. Now that ocean temperatures are being accurately measured, the warming trend has disappeared. Very odd, huh?

What the climate changers and the IPCC have done is to fatally misunderstand the principle of disaster activism, or DA (no, no relation). DA works like this: you predict that power lines cause cancer, CFCs cause a hole in the ozone layer, bird flu is going to affect people, swine flu is going to affect people, all computers will crash in 2k. Then you can have conferences, meetings, seminars and parties and research, all funded by government, to solve these nonproblems, and the problems never happen because you solved them.

See? Lots of funding, travel and no effort. But you have to use something mythical, unmeasurable. And the IPCC has messed this up. The real measured data says it is not going to happen. To get people to believe in ‘the pause’ is going to be quite a different song to sing. What a pity. Because, until now, you could hang anything on climate change: roof insulation, chopping down Cape pine trees to sell the wood to China, anything . . . And now temperature increase is stopped by itself. No more parties, no more conferences. Darn. What if you had a war and nobody came?

So, have temperatures increased since 1950 and why did they stop? I think they did increase. Temperature increases stopped since, in 1998, the Nuclear Weapon Proliferation Treaty resulted in the suspension of nuclear bomb tests, of which there had been 2 055 nuclear tests, which released 213 5000 terajoules of energy. Instead of rubbish theories, why is this never thought of? Ahhhh . . . cannot have grants and parties if this is the case. No travelling. Boring.