Pinin is a protein associated with desmosome, a structure which helps hold cells together. Farina (in Italian) is a form of milled wheat. On the other hand, Battista is the name of Scrooge McDuck’s butler. McDuck is related to Donald Duck.

Putting all these highly educational facts together, we get the Pininfarina Battista, which is a new all-electric Italian supercar. It is very impressive, judging by the statistics: zero to 100 km/h in two seconds; 400 km/h top speed; maximum engine power output of 1 400 kW; 120 kWh battery. It can be recharged to 80% of capacity in 40 minutes and has an advertised range of 400 km. A so ‘guilt-free’ high-performance vehicle. Myself? Oh, I do not know.

So it has a 1 400 kW engine power output? Well, with a 120 kWh battery, it cannot be producing more than 30 kW on average if it goes 400 km on one charge. So, the rest is just for ‘head room’. So it goes 400 km on one charge? Thus, at an average speed of 100 km/h, it takes four hours to go 400 km. Then . . . wait . . . one hour to charge up again. So, the actual average speed is 80 km/h if you include the charging time.

My three-cylinder Daihatsu does that. The 400 km/h top speed is very impressive. In South Africa, if you go over 160 km/h, they arrest and jail you if you are caught. No idea what happens north of 200 km/h. So, no, this car is not a tourer.

Now, to charge up in one hour you need about a 150 kW supply. This is the sort of supply which will supply 30 homes. And, while you can smugly sleep sound on being an emission-free car driver, you cannot be an emission-free car charger unless the current always comes from the wind or the sun. Which it cannot. So, the emissions just go from tail pipe to smoke stack. One thing the smug detail specifications are silent on (Pun! Ha!) are the sound of the engine. There is, as far as I can see, no roar at all. What is the fun in that? I can tell you, as a one-time helicopter pilot, the liftoff rotate and zoom off at 180 km/h are great! With the chop chop chop of the blades. Man alive. The sound of no engine but high speed pothole bumps and klaps is just not doing it. Anybody who has ridden in a high-speed power boat will tell you that it is not the waves and the spray and the wind, but it is the vavoooooooom which gives the thrill. It’s primal.

But the manufacturers of the car have it covered: One review tells, gushingly: “The Pininfarina will allow drivers to choose a bespoke sound, from literally near silence to some bespoke sounds that it promises will not be artificially amplified. It’s not yet defined, but it will draw from key factors, including the electric motors, air flow, heater system and even the resonance of the carbon fibre monocoque.”

Keep an ear out. I cannot wait to tell the girlfriend: “Hey, darlin’, you wan’ hear the sound of this baby at full tap, huh? The heater, man, the resonance of the carbon fibre monocoque? Ohhhh, it gets me soooo excited.”

Now look. All serious. We went from steam engines, which were things of beauty and emotion, to electrical locos, which are not. But the steam locos were not fast, gave off lots of pollution, consumed water, had limited range before refuelling, had to carry the fuel stock with them . . . electric locos which were none of this. Get down to it, the only thing an electric car does is make you feel smug. And, for the Pininfarina, rich. It costs R28-million. Form a queue.